Ugh. Seriously?

I'm waiting to hear back from Sheila re: the retrieval. There's some speculation that it will be on Sunday. I may pop before Sunday! As of this morning, we still have nineteen baseballs - though now some are bigger! - growing. The largest of which measures at 20 mm in diameter - that's 2 cm! There are two slightly smaller ones - they're only 19 mm - and the rest are right around 17. 

I suppose it's because I'm uncomfortable, but I'm getting cranky & emotional. Dr. Perloe also tried to throw a wrench in the works when he said that he met with the head doctor from Reprogenetics in New Jersey & was suggesting that perhaps the blastocysts go through the 5 day CGH test. I almost had a stroke with the stress of making a decision about that on my own. So I didn't. I told him that Brett & I would discuss it and let him know. I also told him that I'm not comfortable being an early patient on that kind of testing. I got emotional about it when I told Sheila. She's good with me, though, and like Cat would have done, she told me to sit up & stop crying & then she'd talk to me. She knows how to handle me, I guess. I just got frustrated. 

I know that there are people in our lives that will never be able to have children. I understand that we're in a remarkable position to hope (with good reason) that we'll have our miracle. But we've been waiting an awfully long time. We've been through more than most people our age should go through. The 5-day test would put us back another 2 months & we're starting to get a little anxious. I suppose if we'd educated ourselves about that test & had that as our mental path, we could have been ready for the extra time needed to wait. But that wasn't on our radar, emotionally, physically, financially or mentally. 

I feel like I'm rationalizing to you, Dear. Perhaps I think if I could just have a little validation that the path we're on is GOOD - not necessarily right, because there isn't a "right" - maybe I'd feel better about it. 

Thanks for checking in today. Keep checking in to find out when the retrieval is.

Go Team Beaker!