A Totally Different Note

I've already had some morning sickness. I mean, I get ookey feeling when I haven't had anything to eat in a few hours or ... you know... I suppose that's to be expected when you're expecting twins! But last night was something else! I woke up for one of my middle of the night visits to the ... you know... and got myself on back to bed. Well, no sooner did I get in bed and I felt starving. I mean absolutely stomach growling, going to help myself to a little roasted brett's arm without roasting it STARVING. I thought, "I'll fall back asleep in a minute and forget about it until the morning time when I can get up and have some toast." HAH!!! My tum-tum had other plans. It decided that if I wasn't going to feed it, and I mean NOW, it was going to turn on me and I'd be sorry. Well! I got my retainer out faster than you can say "Jack Robinson" when my tummy started turning over. I woke Brett up with "Oh Gosh, Brett, I think I'm going to fluidate all over!" God Bless the man, he woke up! And then he REALLY woke up! We bolted to the special room and my tummy threw a tantrum, "FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!!!" and threatened more bodily damage if I continued to ignore it. So, after the "episode-at-Toilet-Hill," Brett got me some crackers & I drank some Gatorade (thanks Connie for teaching me about the tub o' Gatorade) and we all went back to sleep. Even Lucy, who was walking around acting genuinely concerned for my health and well-being. Even my tum-tum who had forgiven me my indiscretion. Even Brett who was wondering what on earth he's gotten himself into. 

This is crazy. I'm constantly hungry, but I can't ever figure out what they want! For now, toast and mild food. But I've learned my lesson! When tum-tum says jump, I'll remember to ask how high! 

Go Team Beaker! ... straight to the refrigerator and get something to eat!

Sundays of Grace #5

... better late than never...

1. We got to go to the Braves game yesterday (which is why this is tardy & being written on Monday). It was a great game! The Bravos held the Red Sox to only one run, while they themselves scored two! So, while the fans were competitive, it was all great fun and high energy and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

2. We're SO GRATEFUL for the news that we're going to have twins! While we're being realistic and remembering that there is still a 30% chance that one will get absorbed, we're also feeling blessed! Imagine, we're getting a decent sized family all at once! 

3. Billy is moving his sweetheart up here today. It's a big day for him. He's so in love and we're very excited for him. We hope that everything works out for him according to God's Plan and that God's Plan will be that he and his sweetheart are very happy together.

I Know You've Been Checking All Morning

Today is a day that will live in our hearts for an awfully long time. Brett and I are in absolute awe at the miracle that is facing us. We're having twins! Two of them! At one time! Praise God! We've hardly settled into our excitement and certainly haven't processed it all, but here we are, laughing and crying and praying and just generally throwing our hands up in pure, unadulterated JOY. 

Two babies! Wow! I wasn't planning on posting these, but Brett suggested that "Inquiring Minds want to know." Here are the pictures of Thing One and Thing Two. 

I realize they might not look like much to you, but to us, they look like the most beautiful, wonderful, perfect Miracles that God has ever bestowed on anyone. We are so thrilled to know that these babies are in here. Billy will be happy to know that the official due date is between February 14 - February 24, but February 18 is what they're forecasting. February 18 is his birthday. 

Brett and I got to see heartbeats and see both little beans. The beans measured at 6 weeks 5 days today, so they look like little potatoes with sprouts coming out of them and they're about the size of small blueberries. We're pretty blown away by the fact that our family has doubled in size today - we are now four instead of two! How exciting and how terrifying! Team Beaker is huge now!

Keep praying and keep those fingers crossed for us and for Team Beaker. We're not out of the woods yet, (until July 10 or so, there is a 30% chance that one will be reabsorbed) and we still need those positive vibes heading this way!

Go Team Beaker!!

Team Beaker Head Count

Check back for full information Friday! (Our appointment is at 9:30)

See!

(perhaps) an Ultrasound picture!

Hear!

How many there are in there!

Read!

Our thoughts on how many we're having!

Go Team Beaker!

Absenteeism

I'm sorry I've been absent! I've been at school. How's that for an excuse?! 

I'm trying to talk Brett into writing once a week, you know, to give you people a break from my thoughts and to give you his perspective. I think it'd be fun! Otherwise, here's the scoop: I'm feeling good and pregnant. The baby/ies are making me have to go tee-tee a lot. I mean a LOT. I haven't slept through the night in a week, and I normally never wake up. I'm so swollen that Brett has to buckle my shoes for me if I've already put on pants. The swell is from the hormone shots. Remember they told me that I wouldn't get better if I got pregnant? They weren't kidding! 

There are three things that I'm really enjoying, though:

1. I can eat whatever I feel like, and what I feel like is normally good like fruit and protein (or fried chicken and chili rilenos)

2. My hair isn't falling out!

3. My fingernails are fantastic - strong, healthy and long! 

I am not unpleased with anything so far except the constant hunger and ookiness, but I'm not really even unpleased about that! 

We're getting pumped about Friday. That's when we'll discover how many stuck! I am fairly certain that there are those of you who are rooting for twins and there are a few more out there who are secretly hoping for Triplets. TRIPLETS! Who on EARTH would wish that on us? You know who you are.

As to school: it's fine. I'm not always certain that I'm smart enough to do this. I feel quite overwhelmed because it's so foreign and no one seems to back up and explain it better! I just keep hoping it'll come to me. I can't keep up with blogging so much because of school, but I'm trying to juggle it better. I sleep so stinking much now because the baby/ies are wearing me out! Speaking of which.... Good night! Sweet Dreams! I love you! God Bless you! Don't forget to say your prayers! (Right, Andre???)

Sundays of Grace #4

1. The judge on B.'s case awarded them summary judgement on Friday! Huge because he was going to be out of town this week and would have missed the first ultrasound. We're SO grateful for the blessing of time that we've been given!

2. Today is Father's Day. We're grateful for our fathers - who in their ways teach us so many things. We're thankful that today Brett is a Father-in-Waiting. JOY!

3. School is going great for me! I am really glad I'm doing it, even though it's really tough. I've gotten through two of the six weeks and I have a big presentation tomorrow! Wish me luck!

4. I'm so glad to be feeling "pregnant" finally. I know that sounds funny, but I've waited a really long time to have morning sickness and food aversions and uncontrollable sleepiness. I'm still in between clothes, and I'm fine with that. I got the Bella Band to hold my regular clothes up & that's wonderful. 

How are you?

Is this what it's like?

So far today, I've done nothing but sleep and eat. I guess that means that I'm pregnant. I'm feeling particularly "good" today - I've been totally and completely nauseous through the day, which I can assuage by eating something good for me and I've been so stinkin' tired! Oh, wow tired! Like, I slept a ton last night & then fell back asleep from about noon until 3:30. Good stuff!

We're getting pretty excited about our ultrasound on Friday. We got pretty lucky (read: BLESSED!) that Brett et al. won their trial in summary judgement on Friday so he doesn't have to go to Jacksonville all week next week! That means that he can go to the u/s with me on Friday. That's wonderful news! 

I'm so glad that I'm starting to feel something. I hope what I feel is pregnant and not just ookey. I'm luck to have a friend in the neighborhood who's also pregnant right now and therefore has a more vivid memory of early pregnancy. She's been making me feel a lot better about things about which I'm nervous.

Momma said that she's disappointed that I'm not writing more, so here you go! Sorry I've not been writing - I figure you don't want to hear about school, you want to hear about BABIES!

I think we'll know how many on Friday!!

Go Team Beaker!!!

Sundays of Grace #3

1. Our biggest Sunday of Grace and it's only the third! So grateful, so blessed to be Pregnant with Confidence! As Sheila said when she called me, "Team Beaker Rocks!"

2. My first week of school went well. I had a cold through most of it, but I'm not going to complain too much. Graduate school is much harder than undergrad - more reading, more writing, less playing! And I have obligations outside of being a student. But, I'm doing it, I'm there & I love learning!

A great week with two great Graces. Thanks for continuing to pray for whatever Beans might be in there - one or two or three (!). It's so exciting to be on this side of the shots!

Go Team Beaker!

Inquiring Minds want to know, apparently

We did it!!! Go Team Beaker! 

I'm officially pregnant. We don't know how many, though apparently there are a bunch of people rooting for twins! Yesterday was tough holding it in, but thankfully I had to go to school & couldn't tell anyone there. 

I'll write the whole story sometime when I'm not getting ready for school.

Thanks everyone for your prayers! KEEP PRAYING! We have to keep the hormone levels going up up up!

Go Team Beaker!

Hurry Up & Wait!

My bloodwork is done. There's nothing else I can do for now but wait! What a big day for us! Starting back to school in a little while & waiting for answers. I'm very curious, obviously, and I know you are too. 

HOWEVER, you, Dearest, will have to wait until we tell our families how it worked out. I'm not telling Brett until I can tell him face to face. I feel like that's the right thing for me to do. Then we'll tell our families. Then I'll post it.

Keep praying for us! It's a big day!

GO TEAM BEAKER!!

Sundays of Grace #2

1. What an absolute blessing it's been to have such loving support this week! Everyone who could was here to help get me through this week. It was so nice to be able to focus on other things than whether or not I'm pregnant.

2. I know it's goofy, but it is important to us: we're grateful that the vet was able to discern what was wrong with Lucy's mouth & why she had such bad breath! We knew it was too bad to be normal bad dogbreath & when the vet told us that she had an infection in her mouth, it confirmed it! We were able to give her some antibiotics & it cleared it up. Thank goodness!

Go Team Beaker!

Bizy Bakson

Just a quick prayer request...

Tomorrow's a big day for us. I have to go very early for bloodwork at GRS & I start summer semester also! 

Please keep those prayers coming! We're hoping that everything is going along as it should and that we'll get some POSITIVE results!

Also, a few big shout outs to the people who've kept me occupied this week - A nice trip to the mountains with OLA friends started this long week off  then Momma & I had a Mother/Daughter day all day on Monday, Kristen got me to go to the pool with her, Connie & I dug having coffee together frequently this week, Mimso & I went to the movies & Cathy & I enjoyed lunch together! Thanks everyone!

Keep those prayers lifted up for us and I'll report in in a few days with some results!

GO TEAM BEAKER!!

Grandma's Hands

I've been thinking about posting this for days, maybe even weeks. It has nothing to do with the Beans, but it has everything to do with Love. These Beans will have so many grandmas - Praise God! - so many people that will love them and love them now. I love that this song has been written because even though I don't have St. Grandmuddy anymore, or her hands, I can picture them so clearly. And Cat, who might as well have been another grandmother, I can picture her hands, as Momma & I were talking about this morning, pulling off a piece of her honeybun to share with Andre & me. And I know that the Beans will treasure ALL of their grandmas - blood related or not - and look back & remember the Love that came with their Grandma's Hands.

Click here to hear Bill Withers sing this beautiful song. You'll have to scroll down a bit to find Grandma's Hands (it's track 4), but I assure you it's worth it. I just couldn't figure out how to do it properly!

Go Team Beaker! 

Migraine

I'm trying to stay positive, but I woke up this morning with a migraine. That usually means that my hormone levels are dropping. I have a day off of going to see people, or being preoccupied during the Wait, but I sorta wish I didn't. I don't think I want to be alone with my thoughts. I really want them to have stuck, but I'm nervous now. I have to let go, let God, but I'm having a very human reaction for a minute. 

It's alright if this doesn't take the first time. There's only a small chance that it will. We have more embryos waiting for us for the second time. 

I just wish I didn't have this dratted headache!

Go Team Beaker!

Sundays of Grace

I hereby begin a weekly attempt to list a few of the things for which I am grateful. It is easy while in the doldrums of infertility to lose perspective and forget that there are many things going just fine and even better than fine, if I could only lift my head up long enough to notice. So herewith, I will make a conscious and consistent effort to remember the multiple people, places, and aspects of life for which I am grateful (adapted & from Love & Life in the Petri Dish)

(I started this on Sunday and forgot to finish! Off to a good start!)

1. I can't believe that the Science Project has reached the final phase - a phase that's left up to God & my body to complete. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that we've been given.

2. In spite of everything we've been through, Brett & I are closer than ever. Infertility can do a number on a couple, but somehow it's given us more to live for! We thrive on each other & we live to see the other's smile. 

3. Our families & friends have been so supportive & loving & generous with their time & prayers for so long & patiently continue while we go through a time of waiting & questions. What a blessing you all are to us!