Something about which to think:
--> In nine weeks, I would be full term for a singleton pregnancy. As it is, the doctors are going to start watching me super carefully, because these babies could be ready to be born any time after the next few weeks.
If that happens, Brett & I could be parents in a few weeks. Holy Crow. Doesn't that terrify any of you people out there??? Brett & I will be responsible for raising two little people in the way that we see best! That should put a bit of shake in your quake! These kids will sing at the tops of their lungs, slink away to quieter places to read on their own, climb things for the sake of climbing them and do all kinds of goofy things. They will probably also be stoic to the core.
I think I feel sorry for the neighbors.
--> I have already hit my 30th week of pregnancy. Not only am I well past halfway, but I'm almost finished! After all this time, after all the false starts & heartaches & terrors, we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
--> This has not been a light cross to bear. Nothing in the world could possibly help you deal with the losses that we've had. With the sole exceptions of our families & close friends. Sometimes, the only thing holding us up was each other! (Anecdotally: this morning, at Dr. Smith's appointment, he had a bit of a time finding The Little Girl's heartbeat. I felt Brett tense while he held my hand [which is his standard position for these doctor appointments]. Even though we'd felt her kicking me a few minutes earlier, we were still pretty alarmed. Eventually, Dr. Smith found her and everything was alright. But for that minute or so, Brett & I were holding each other up.) When you've gone through what we've gone through, everything else seems so unimportant. My Grandmother used to say, "Your hurt's your hurt," meaning that though I might get migraines so bad they lay me out, your headache isn't any less important. But, having been through a ridiculous amount of hurt and loss and fear and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things, nothing else (so far) requires much work to Let Go. These many years have taught us a lot - we (as a Married Entity) are stronger than we ever thought we could be; there's nothing we can't do with a lot of prayer, a lot of hugs and a lot of help from others (even when they don't know they're helping!); yes, life throws things at you to see how fast you can duck, but while you're down there, sometimes you find a penny lying on the street; things are never so bad for you that they aren't worse for someone else - through the gift of time, talent and/or treasure, we can be Simon for someone who is far needier than we are.
(sorry, I'll stop pontificating.)
--> Bed rest is fine. I started losing my mind around December 1, but thankfully, Momma comes at least twice a week and I look forward to that enough that I'm able to stay pretty positive. I'm keeping a record of all the books I read while I'm on bed rest. So far I'm in the middle of my 11th, though my tenth is one that I'm struggling with reading. We'll see about that one! I just like to lie here and feel the babies. I think that's my favorite part of the day. Oh, and getting up for dinner is great too!
We are so grateful to everyone who has helped carry us through the past four years and then these added months (especially with bed rest). I have been so grateful for the phone calls, the visits and the outpouring of generosity to the Bambinos.
These are many sappy thoughts. I just thought I'd share them. Now, my absolute favorite part of the day is coming - Brett is on his way home - and I want to be unencumbered when he walks in the door.
Next week, expect an update from Dr. Korotkin, but don't be looking for pictures!
Go Team Beaker!
Rooting for you!!!!! Can't wait!!!!!!
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